I have mixed emotions when I talk about the timing of my return to work following my incident. The question I still ask myself to this day is “did I return to work too early”?
Hindsight is great but you can’t live in the shadow of it so I am learning. I tend to sit-on-the-fence with the answer for I am split between the two;
- Yes, I did return to work too early for rest can be the best medicine and perhaps I should not have listened to my brain that was putting work before life. Its ironic that my brain went into isolation mode due to overload and yet it was pushing me to return to work.
- No, I didn’t return to work too early for it was the time at work that allowed me the time to explore and analyse what was happening to my brain and body whilst at work. Whilst I was sure to discover these aliments whilst not at work, it was the work environment that highlighted my concerns at a greater rate. Staying home may have prolonged the inevitable.
Whilst my return to work allowed much self discovery and analysis, it was to take a great toll on my mental health and well being. So much so I was to have regular mental breakdowns both at work and at home.